Sorry to disappoint you pop-up ad, but all the hot singles in my area aren’t as interested in me as you claim.

(Source: toxicrocket)

Seeing something move out the corner of your eye when nothing’s there is just your brain playing “made you look.”

(Source: toxicrocket)

My grandfather use to tell me horror stories of his day about wars and texting on rotary phones.

(Source: toxicrocket)

  • Voldemort: "No Harry, I am you're father!"
  • Harry: "EXPECTO PATRONUUUUUUUUUM!"
  • Harry Potter: "He Who Must Not Be Named" Strikes Back
  • "Hey Skrillex, it's AOL. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well listen to this."
  • *holds phone up to dial-up modem*